I'm tired of living like this.

You someday for some time, ever felt ugly, useless, worthless, fat, sad, that is not and never will be good enough, alone, is not loved for anyone, who just cause disappointment to others, which is a cross in the back of everyone you know, without friends, with hatred or anger at himself? So I feel like that since I was seven years old, every single day, which was when someone called me fat for the first time. Ok, not was so bad, but after some years everyone I know calling me thus, all days, I started believing and finally realized how deluded I was, I me thought beautiful, but I was not pretty , and I NEVER will be. However one thing I admit, I'd rather be deluded and good about myself than I was hating myself as I am now. Nobody understands me, really, nobody understands why I hate myself so much, but when I was to criticize me and call me fat, everyone knew how to do it? I hate people, especially those who have made me postpone myself.