I've tried so much to lose weight, already tried diets, stop eating, vomit, nutritional education, fitness but I could never get the weight I want. What I'm trying now is the systems goals a week, okay, I know how much my idol (Demi) suffered from it but damn it is very difficult to see everyday skinny and pretty girls being praised for being thin and pretty and I being left out because I'm fat. I never had a boyfriend, the boys never talk to me or look at me, no one ever looked into my eyes and said "wow, you are very pretty" Everyone is talking to me slim down, saying that if I was thin my life would be better. I spent my whole life listening to that, I think that was my brainwashing.

My body has always been a problem for me, I mean, as long as the others began to say that being fat was a problem I try to lose weight and not go a day without thinking about it, I try not to care about that and accept me the way I'm but ... I'm not sure how to explain it right, let's say it's like I was brainwashed and this idea of ​​being thin had been implanted in my head and when I try to change my mind, as much as I want I can not

My head is very confused right now but it's probably because I'm at a new school and I'm not used to so much work but it will pass, I hope.

Well, I've said before I really like the singer Demi lovato but not only that, I not only "like very much" her, I LOVE her. Okay, this may seem cliche to some Lovatics but she saved my life, she LITERALLY saved my life. Before I knew her work and everything she's been through I was "lost" I hated myself and others and thought that my life was not worth it but after she appeared in my life I saw that I can overcome all I already spent and I can win this war, she gave me hope and that's why I'm grateful to her for help me being who I am now.

"Just like a snowflake, there is no one like you on this planet. Do not waste time trying to imitate others. Be the best version of yourself and show the world" - Staying Strong by Demi Lovato

I have no words to explain how much I love this quote, it's all I wanted expressed in words.

I've got tired of saying this but my English is terrible because most of the things I write here is translated by google but now I'm doing a course in English and I hope that in a few months can already write my thoughts and sentences without the google.

I always give plenty of advice here but I do not follow them, or at least did not follow, I want to follow my own advice but I do not know how to do it, you know? I wish I had photographic memory to remember all my advice because sometimes I forget and end up doing what others want or do. I can not say "from now on I'll just follow my advice" because that would be a lie and almost impossible but I swear I'll try.

You should do the same.

I'll change the world.

I'm one of those people who are so insane as to be geniuses.

Honestly I write a lot of shit on this blog, but have posts that are simply perfect. I'm not bragging but it's true.

I'll tell the war that is going on inside of me because I'm about to explode. Okay, so I trusted a person (not a boy, only my best friend) I always wanted a best friend when it happened and I was very happy but she has several other friends and I have hardly anyone else and we are moving away and I confess even against every fiber of my body, I'm afraid to lose this friendship that means so much to me. I want to say that to her or do something but I do not want to seem weak. I'm very confused.

We are all important in some way.

Where we can be better every day but we insist on being worse. What's our problem?

I do not hate people, I hate their attitudes.

I want to fix the world but first I have to fix me and I'm not sure if I have concert.

We can all change the world, I know I know, it's fucking cliche but it's true. We let ourselves be carried away by pessimism but I still have hopes. I'm not afraid of disappointment, I'm not a coward, I'm brave enough to still have hope and try to make a better world for myself, I need to try because if I accommodate me with the situation I am now everything will really from bad to worse so I'll try even though I can not get, I have to try. We have.

My head is a mess, always has some problem in my head that I have to solve, always have that voice saying that something missing. I hate feeling this way.

Do a favor to yourself and read a book.

I will no longer be keeping things to myself. I'll say what I think and what I want. I could never be one hundred percent myself anywhere because I was afraid of being judged but you know what? FUCK THAT SHIT now all I want most is to be happy and have no way better to be happy than to be yourself, belief and happiness of others always in second place, selfishness? No, self esteem because I can not let people make me down and fuck who bother with this. Smile and walk on the floor because I still have a whole world to explore and try to improve.

There's nothing wrong with not being liked by everyone, no one can please everyone and no one should try because it sure will not get it.

Before I wondered what was wrong with me because I did everything for people like me but nobody liked, but now I realized that actually that was my biggest mistake, I should not (no one should) be trying to adapt, or change who you really are to please others. I realized that just be yourself and the right people will like you. (this is super cliche, I know but it's true)

Love hurts, this is inevitable, as inevitable as falling in love.

But this is kind of a good thing because it means that I feel comfortable enough to speak up unneeded things with you.

I also think it was a little unnecessary to have it posted here.

I think I'm bisexual.

Sometimes I think about everything I've done in my life and just think oh shit!